Recognizing Parental Alienation Is Happening With Your Kids
In part 3 of the mini series on Parental Alienation, Diane goes into what you may see when recognizing parental alienation is occurring and tips on how to help your children speak about their feelings and their questions.
Studies have indicated that parental alienation behaviour can start well before the relationship fails. One of the parents may be more overbearing and controlling on how to run the family and raise the kids leaving the other parent feeling inept. As this goes on over time, it instills a poor reflection on that parent so if the marriage fails, these precursors will almost be established for when acrimonious alienation behaviours start to develop.
Divorce Help For Kids
If you are sensing that things are not gong well with your kids or there are repeated actions to impede access when it is time for the children to be with you, one of the things you can do is start to take notes of times, places and events. This will equip you with documentation when you are in hearings for access and custody.
Another tip you may want to use is that when you notice your child is becoming withdrawn from you and less open is to pry in a way as to invite them to feel safe communicating with you. State your observations and ask questions and assure them that you are approachable for everything if at times you may be upset or worried. The children need to know they are safe with their parents and if one parent is manipulating the communication by creating secrets and forbidden conversations the children can have with the other parent, they will be feeling sad, uneasy, guilty and many other things. They need to be assured that all is well and that you will always always love them and that you are always there to listen and support them.
If there are things that you are unsure of on how to handle or feel ill equipped to deal with seek help from a professional who can help you navigate things with your kids. Here in Ottawa, The Clarity Divorce Centre is an interdisciplinary centre where you can also get the help you need.
Diane Valiquette is the host of the Divorce Recovery Show on Ottawa Buzz TV weekly every Monday. She is a divorce recovery coach and consultant as well as a Ontario licensed divorce mediator. To work with her directly Call Diane At This Number (343)887-5053